它活了！
It's alive!
你知道，我觉得你在羞辱我的体重。
You know, I you like you're fat-shaming me.
球池！哇！
Ball pit! Whoo!
救命！啊！
Help! Aah!
哈！摩霍乔现在在监狱里了
Aha! Mojo jojo is in jail now
但他会逃脱去再次与超能力女孩们战斗
But will break out to fight the powerpuff girls again
让你再次把他关进监狱--不，等等。
For you to put in jail again -- no. Wait.
这就是摩霍乔的生活吗？天啊。
Is that mojo jojo's life? Oh, my god.
摩霍乔需要坐下来休息一会儿。
Mojo jojo needs to sit down for a minute.
闭嘴，猴子！这不是我们的问题！
Shut up, monkey! It's not our problem!
但如果汤斯维尔投入更多资源
But maybe if townsville funneled more resources
到修复性司法制度中，
Into rehabilitative justice,
他就能从一个罪犯转变为一个平民。
He'd grow from a villain into a civilian.
摩霍乔在生活中所想要的就是一个稳定的家和事业，
All mojo jojo wants in life is a stable home and career,
也许在圣达菲开一家陶瓷店，
Maybe start a pottery shop in santa fe.
就是那种只卖绿松石项链的店。
You know, one where all they sell are turquoise necklaces.
但摩霍乔现在别无选择。
But mojo jojo has no other choice now.
该死！
God damn it!
惩罚性司法制度
The punitive justice system
从未给过他成长的机会！
Never gave him the chance to grow!
我们是如何成为如此可怕循环的一部分？
How did we become part of such a terrible cycle?
[惊呼]市长。
[ gasps ] the mayor.
女孩们！
Girls!
毛绒熊正在策划毒害汤斯维尔河！
Fuzzy lumpkins is plotting to poison the townsville river!
你是说那个贫困的班卓琴手
You mean the destitute banjo player
因你们城市的城市改造而被迫生活在森林里？！
Forced to live in the forest due to your city gentrification?!
愤怒拳打！哈！哎哟！
Angry-face punch! Ha! Ow!
也许如果你关心的不仅仅是汤斯维尔1%的人，
Maybe if you cared about more than just the townsville 1%,
毛绒熊就能为社会做出贡献！
Fuzzy could contribute to society!
哦！女孩们！我是个好人！
Ooh! Girls! I'm a good guy!
哦，市长。
Oh, mayor.
你不是个好人。你是个舔靴者。
You're not a good guy. You're a bootlicker.
旁白：于是汤斯维尔从
Narrator: And so townsville is saved
它最伟大的罪犯中得救，那就是体制！
From its greatest villain yet, the man!
好的。这纯粹是肾上腺素，文森特。
Okay. It's pure adrenaline, vincent.
你直接把它刺进她的心脏。
You stab it right into her heart.
一，二，三。注射器！
One, two, three. Syringe!
[鸟鸣]哦，是的。
[ birds chirping ] oh, yeah.
我猜脚没有心脏。对不起，伙计。
I guess feet don't have hearts. Sorry, buddy.
[啜泣]她只是…太性感了。
[ sobs ] she was just...So sexy.
[冲浪摇滚吉他演奏]
[ surf-rock guitar plays ]
那么MJ的情况怎么样？
So what's the dealie with mj?
你很难被找到，蜘蛛侠。
You're difficult to track down, spider-man.
啊！尼克·弗瑞？你为什么要给内德打麻醉针？
Aah! Nick fury? Why did you tranquilize ned?
这本来会是一个很酷的揭秘时刻。
It was gonna be a kick-ass reveal for me.
看，也许他还好。
Look. Maybe he's okay.
哦，弗瑞先生，那是他的脑浆！
Oh, mr. Fury, those are his brains!
没事！
It's okay!
我读到人类只使用大脑的10%左右。
I've read that humans use like 10% of their brains.
也许这是他不使用的那部分--糟了。
Maybe this is the -- shit.
也许这是他不使用的那部分。
Maybe this is the part he doesn't use.
灯灭了，男孩们。啊！
Lights out, boys. Aah!
[枪声]啊！
[ gunshot ] aah!
哦，那么多脑浆！[惊呼]
Oh, so many brains! [ gasps ]
MJ，不！弗瑞先生！
Mj, no! Mr. Fury!
哦，弗瑞先生！那不是我干的！
Aw, mr. Fury! That wasn't me!
看，这张茶几不应该--好吧。
See, this coffee table shouldn't -- okay.
呃…妈的！
Uh...Mother[bleep]!
嗯。
Mm.
过来！[呻吟]
Get over here! [ grunts ]
我不知道你有没有注意到，
I don't know if you noticed,
但是，呃，当我在那里挖的时候，
But, uh, when I was digging around in there,
我好像看到了什么东西。
I think I saw something.
什么东西？像是一个肿块吗？
Something? What, like a lump?
说你看到了什么东西，这种话，
Saying you saw something is, like,
对别人来说是一件很沉重的事情，伙计。
Some heavy shit to drop on someone, man.
让我再看看！
Let me take another look!
你也许想咬住点什么东西。
You might want to bite down on something.
[呻吟]
[ grunts ]
我真的没看到什么东西。
I'm not really seeing anything.
也许是光线照得不对。
Maybe the light might have hit it weird.
你在开玩笑吗？
Are you kidding?
我需要一个真正的答复，伙计。
I'm looking for a real answer, bro.
好吧，好吧。让我再仔细看看。
Okay, okay. Uh, let me dig a little deeper.
[呻吟]砰！
[ grunts ] slam!
哦！啊！
Oh! Ah!
看起来我的矛尖
Looks like the tip of my spear
缠绕在你的脊柱上变得很奇怪
Got tangled around your spine all weird
投下了一个奇怪的阴影。
And made a funky shadow.
呃，看起来一切都很顺利，伙计！
Uh, looks like the coast is clear, buddy!
结果他！真的吗？
Finish him! Really?
来吧，结果他。嗯。
Come on. Finish him. Mm.
好吧。
Okay.
致命一击！天蝎胜利。
Fatality! Scorpion wins.
[戏剧性的音乐播放]
[ dramatic music plays ]
[呻吟]
[ grunts ]
你是用你的屁股打我的吗？
Did hit me with your butt?
[声音失真]哎哟！
[ voice distorted ] ow!
[正常声音]哎哟！我的牙！嗨，我是夜翼。
[ normal voice ] ow! My teeth! Hi. I'm nightwing.
你有没有希望过拥有一个美味的超级英雄屁股
Have you ever wished for a delicious-looking superhero butt
像我的这样？
Like mine?
让这个愿望成真有了夜翼屁股。
Make that wish come true with nightbutt.
这是第一个全方位臀部锻炼器
It's the first all-in-one butt exerciser
这一定能雕塑、塑造，
That's sure to sculpt, tone,
并训练你的臀部以对付坏蛋。
And train your glutes to take out brutes.
你将学会这些动作，比如…
You'll learn moves like...
哎哟！
Ow!
当然还有…[放屁]
And, of course... [ farts ]
太紧了！
So tight!
所以快行动起来，拥有夜翼屁股吧！
So get your rear in gear and get the nightbutt!
告诉他们是迪克推荐的。夜翼屁股。
Tell 'em dick sent ya. Nightbutt.
你能读出顶部那行字吗？我看到一只小猫咪！
Can you read the top line? I tawt I taw a puddy tat!
不，那是个"h"。
No. That's an "h."
我是一个合法的盲人。
I'm wegally bwind.
…在我把最后一颗无限宝石还回去后，
...And after I returned the last infinity stone,
我来到过去，和你在一起度过余生。
I came here to the past to spend my life with you.
我不知道这会对时间线产生什么影响，
I don't know what that will do to the timeline,
所以我必须小心谨慎。
So I got to be careful.
只要我们在一起，其他都不重要。
As long as we're together, it doesn't matter.
[呻吟]好吧。
[ grunts ] boy.
好的。
Okay.
我换了机油，修剪了草坪，
I changed the oil, mowed the lawn,
还修好了车库门。
And repaired the garage door.
哦，我本来可以帮忙的。但你知道那个时间线。
Oh, I w-would have helped out. But you know that timeline.
[打嗝]天哪。
[ burps ] oh, my god.
你在这里尿过了吗？是的。
Did you pee in these? Yeah.
不敢冒险走到洗手间，会影响时间线。
Couldn't risk the timeline by walking to the bathroom.
那你是怎么拿到那些零食的？
Then how did you get those snacks?
我把这个精美的瓷器盘子在几面墙上弹来弹去，
I bounce this fine-china serving tray off several walls
就像我的盾牌一样。
Into the kitchen as if it's my shield.
它会收集所有的零食，然后弹回到我手里。
It collects all my snacks, bounces back to my hand.
看。[玻璃破碎]
Watch. [ glass breaking ]
只有在你不在的时候它才有用。
It works when you're not here.
[缓慢的音乐播放]史蒂夫！你回来了！
[ down-tempo music plays ] steve! You're back!
我给你带了点东西，山姆。
And I brought you something, sam.
你的盾牌！
Your shield!
我把盾牌卖了换零食，但这个也一样管用。
I sold my shield for snacks, but this works just as well.
现在它是你的了，山姆。
And it's yours now, sam.
太好了，谢谢！
Gee. Thanks!
一个看起来是匆忙胶合在一起的
A fine-china serving tray
精美瓷器盘子。
That looks hastily glued together.
你知道1945年有什么遗忘的吗，山姆？
You know what a guy forgets about 1945, sam?
零食。它们太糟糕了。
The snacks. They're terrible.
嘿，我们总部还有那台自动售货机吗？
Hey, do we still have that vending machine in hq?
有，它竟然幸存下来了--太好了！
We do. It actually survived -- oh, great!
我去买些酸葡萄软糖。
I'm gonna get some sour patch kids.
你要吗？我没事。
You want anything? I'm good.
太棒了。现在看我发挥。
Fantastic. Now watch this drive.
你没事吧？
Are you okay?
我犯了一个可怕的错误，山姆。
I made a terrible mistake, sam.
真他妈的！
Holy [bleep]!
我找到了一种方法来拯救牛牛农场！
I found a way to save moo moo farm!
他们出20k让我们在农场里开几次卡丁车！
They're paying us 20k just to have some go-karts
在那里兜兜转转！
Whiz around the property a few times!
太棒了！
That's amazin'!
我们要清理道路上的奶牛和地鼠吗？
Should we clear the cows and gophers from the roads?
不用！它们能造成多大的麻烦呢？
Nah! How much trouble could they cause?
啊！天啊！
Aah! Oh, my god!
哦，我的天！
Oh, my lord!
哦，不！地鼠！
Oh, no! The gophers!
我的房子！
My house!
我的庄稼！
My crops!
我要赢了！
I'm-a gonna win!
来吧！是时候去库巴海滩了！
Come on! Time for-a koopa troopa beach!
都没了！全都没了！
It's gone! It's all gone!
也许不全是！看！
Maybe not! Look!
他们留下了一个彩虹盒子。
They left one of those rainbow boxes.
也许里面有东西可以帮到我们。
Maybe something inside can help us.
内莉，不！那个问号是倒着的！
Nellie, no! That question mark is upside down!
哦，天啊！内莉！
Oh, god! Nellie!
小伙子：至少她的头还在，爸爸可以处理这个。
Young man: Hey, at least her head's here. Dad can work with that.
哦，亲爱的！
Oh, dear!
我的收容所里有太多可爱的动物了。
My pound has too many cute animals.
它们永远都不会被收养。
They'll never be adopted.
我的鳄鱼农场破产了。
My alligator farm is broke.
所有的鳄鱼都要饿死了！
All my alligators are gonna starve!
我们是不是刚刚解决了彼此的问题？我们是不是刚刚解决了彼此的问题？
Did we just solve each other's problems? Did we just solve each other's problems?
旁白：于是鳄鱼农场
Narrator: And so the alligator farm
腾出空间让收容所提供动物收养服务，
Set aside space for the pound to offer animal adoptions,
收养费用用来喂养鳄鱼。
And the adoption fees went toward feeding the alligators.
等等。你是指他们会把收容所的动物
Wait. Did you expect they would feed the pound animals
喂给鳄鱼吗？
To the alligators?
哦。天啊。我的天。
Oh. Wow. My god.
你看起来非常冷漠和疲惫。
You seem very jaded and worn down by the world.
试着每天花点时间冥想。
Try to take some time each day to meditate.
我讨厌公司圣诞派对。
I hate office christmas parties.
是啊。为什么艾丽丝总是那么咄咄逼人？
Yeah. Why does alice always get so aggressive?
狄尔伯特，你的鸡鸡是不是像你的领带一样弯？
Dilbert, is your dick curved like your tie,
还是你的领带像你的鸡鸡一样弯？
Or is your tie curved like your dick?
好了，好了。别管狄尔伯特的领带了。
Now, now. Leave dilbert's tie alone.
它可能是唯一有趣的东西了。
It is literally the only interesting thing about him.
才不是！
It is not!
懒惰、愚蠢、暴力、邪恶、可怕、天才、领带。
Lazy, stupid, violent, evil, scary, genius, necktie.
我明白你的观点。
I see your point.
我是哈尔·布鲁伯，国际恐怖分子。[人群倒吸一口气]
I'm hal bruber, international terrorist. [ crowd gasps ]
你们中谁是老板？
Which one of you is the boss?
[大笑]这个笑话是针对你的。
[ laughs ] the joke's on you.
这里是一个社会主义集体。
This is a socialist collective.
哦，去你的。
Oh, [bleep] you guys.
我要知道保险箱的密码。
I demand to know the combination to the safe.
哇！我们有保险箱？
Whoa! We have a safe?
别问我，我对这份工作一点资格都没有。
Don't ask me. I don't have any qualifications for this job.
我连要往保险箱里放什么都不知道。
I wouldn't even know what to put inside a safe.
没人知道我们公司到底做什么。
Nobody knows what we do at this company.
嘿，卡罗尔，我们公司到底做什么？
Hey, carol, what do we do at this company?
[人群倒吸一口气]哦，天啊！
[ crowd gasps ] oh, my!
有人要因此被记过了。
Someone's gonna get written up for that.
[枪声]这可不太好。
[ gunshot ] that's not good.
艾丽丝：节日气氛！
Alice: Festive!
我们逃吧。[玻璃破碎]
Let's make a break for it. [ glass shatters ]
不，我想看看下一个谁会被打。
Nah. I want to see who gets shot next.
阿索克说得对。
Asok was right.
这条领带确实是我唯一的优势。
This necktie is literally all I have going for me.
喂？我需要帮助！
Hello? I need help!
恐怖分子要杀掉所有人。
The terrorists are going to kill everyone.
听着，不是说只要大家都活下来，
Look, it's not like we get a special cop bonus
我们就能得到特别的警察奖金。
If everyone survives in there.
随便你怎么做吧。
Do whatever.
[音乐播放]
♪♪
终于！
At last!
原来你不是恐怖分子，只是个小偷！
You're not a terrorist at all. You're just a thief!
如果是拿回属于自己的东西，那就不算偷盗！
It's not stealing if you're taking back what's yours!
揭露！
Reveal!
电视和音乐明星吉姆·拉什？
Television and musical sensation jim rash?
我是史考特·亚当斯，白痴，
I'm scott adams, shithead,
狄尔伯特漫画的创作者！
Creator of the dilbert comic strip!
在这个盒子里，是我多年来积累的
And within this box is all the good will from readers
读者好感。
I've built up after decades!
你能拿读者好感做什么用？
What possible use could you have for reader good will?
读者越记得喜欢我的漫画，
The more readers remember enjoying my comic,
我就越能容忍自己说一些像是
The more they'll tolerate me when I say things like,
"白人正在从这个文化中消失"这样的话。
"white men are being erased from this culture!"
你为什么要说这样的话？
Why would you even want to say something like that?
因为这是事实！
Because it's true!
我在UPN的狄尔伯特动画被取消了，就是因为我是白人！
My dilbert cartoon on upn was canceled because I'm white!
但它并不好笑。
But it wasn't funny.
不需要好笑！我是白人！
It didn't have to be funny! I'm white!
这以前就足够了！
That used to be all you needed!
我觉得你最好再看看那个盒子。
I think you'd better check the box again.
什么…[枪膛上膛]
What the... [ gun cocks ]
哼？伙计，世界上没有足够的
Huh? Buddy, there's not enough reader good will in the world
读者好感能保护你的疯狂。
To shield you from your own wack ass.
不，狄尔伯特！偷袭！
No, dilbert! Sneak attack!
砰！
Blam!
看来他是以一种白人男性的方式死去的，
Well, he died power-humping an authority symbol.
权力勃起。得为此尊重他。
Very white male way to go. Got to respect that.
枪托！现在谁才是无聊的人，混蛋？
Gun-butt! Who's boring now, asshole?
顺便说一句，
And for the record,
[拉链打开]…这条领带的形状像我的…
[ zipper opens ] ...The tie is shaped like my...